7 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Not a Good Idea

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vdiamond	7 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Not a Good Idea	Lead	[-]
Posts: 5407 (03/08/07 23:36:55) Administrator Indiana Jane Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Tags : None I wondered what the thoughts of our posters would be on this topic. I have no idea how accurate the following article is, but thought it was interesting. *Quote:* A summary of empirical studies related to marriage and cohabitation 1) Those who live together before marriage are least likely to marry each other. 2) Those who live together before marriage have higher separation and divorce rates. 3) Those who live together before marriage have unhappier marriages. 4) Those living together before marriage have more frequent disagreements, more fights and violence. 5) Those who live together do not experience the best sex. 6) Those who live together before marriage experience more behavioral problems. 7) Living together outside of marriage negatively impacts their children. www.stcdio.org/omf/marriage-ministry/7ReasonWhy.htm
snakeyd	Re: 7 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Not a Good Ide	#1	[-]
Posts: 196 (03/09/07 00:49:34) Nitpicker Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	I am not sure myself. In my situation, wifey moved in about a month before we got married. We did this for convenience, we wanted our house to be in order before the wedding (we were married in another state). 1-4, 6 address living together before marriage 5 and 7 does not have include marriage at all. I would imagine statistics support the 7 points.
FeignedFey	Re: 7 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Not a Good Ide	#2	[-]
Posts: 696 (03/09/07 01:08:57) Less filling...Tastes great! Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Correlation is not causality. Fox Saliant
Manruss	Re: 7 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Not a Good Ide	#3	[-]
Posts: 1168 (03/09/07 01:23:44) Unindicted Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	I wonder if those stats are comparing people who are living together with people who aren't living together, or if they're being compared to people who are married. If the former, then I think the discrepancy can be explained by the fact that those are all common symptoms of living in close quarters with someone, if the latter, then it's hard for me to imagine how exactly a marriage certificate transmutes itself into better sex and fewer disagreements. Statistical surveys aside, all I know is that if I hadn't decided to live with women before marriage, I would have been married and divorced twice already. ----------------------- Visit my weblog!
vdiamond	Re: 7 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Not a Good Ide	#4	[-]
Posts: 5407 (03/09/07 01:40:29) Administrator Indiana Jane Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	*Quote:* Statistical surveys aside, all I know is that if I hadn't decided to live with women before marriage, I would have been married and divorced twice already. How do you know you wouldn't have taken the commitments more seriously if you had been married - and worked out your differences?
Cincinnatus87	Re: 7 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Not a Good Ide	#5	[-]
Posts: 396 (03/09/07 01:40:50) Unindicted Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	*Quote:* 5) Those who live together do not experience the best sex. If you read from the link, they say this... *Quote:* Those who live together do not experience the best sex. The National Institute for Healthcare Research found that couples not involved before marriage and faithful during marriage are more satisfied with their current sex life than those who were involved sexually before marriage.[12] Another study done by the Family Research Council found that 72 percent of all married traditionalists (those who strongly believe out-of-wedlock sex is wrong) reported high sexual satisfaction. This is roughly 31 percentage points higher than the level by unmarried non-traditionalists. I guess I'm not all that surprised that a group of people who have never had sex with anyone else before would on average report higher satisfaction than a group of people with more sexual experience. The former group have nothing to compare to. Furthermore I would imagine that there is a tendency among married couples to overstate their sexual satisfaction. No matter how bad you've got it, I can't imagine telling your wife that she's lousy in bed is a good way to get more or better sex. "I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it." -Voltaire
vdiamond	Re: 7 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Not a Good Ide	#6	[-]
Posts: 5407 (03/09/07 01:42:48) Administrator Indiana Jane Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	*Quote:* No matter how bad you've got it, I can't imagine telling your wife that she's lousy in bed is a good way to get more or better sex. Doesn't work when you tell the husbands this either.
Grace06	Re: 7 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Not a Good Ide	#7	[-]
Posts: 134 (03/09/07 01:52:00) Earth Spirit Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	I could/would be faithful as I was when I was married, but as I once felt, Marriage was or would have been the only way. I no longer feel that way. grace06 "Only when the last tree is cut; only when the last river is polluted; only when the last fish is caught; only then will they realize that you cannot eat money."
vdiamond	Re: 7 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Not a Good Ide	#8	[-]
Posts: 5407 (03/09/07 02:01:46) Administrator Indiana Jane Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	*Quote:* I no longer feel that way. Why has your opinion changed, if you don't mind me asking?
Othellos	Re: 7 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Not a Good Ide	#9	[-]
Posts: 150 (03/09/07 02:44:21) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Not a good idea? Whatever happened to "test driving"? Anyway, I think that it all depends on the people involved and their actual situation.
vdiamond	Re: 7 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Not a Good Ide	#10	[-]
Posts: 5407 (03/09/07 03:46:04) Administrator Indiana Jane Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Yes - test drive. Not run up the mileage.
sear	Re: Insanity is hereditary. Parents get it from their kids.	#11	[-]
Posts: 568 (03/09/07 06:05:20) libertarian Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	*Quote:* "Correlation is not causality." FF That's what I was thinking. Those that cohabit before matrimony may not have marriages as statistically successful as those that don't cohabit before marriage. But those that are inclined to cohabit before marriage and do may have more successful marriages than those inclined to cohabit before marriage, but don't. ----------------------- it's all a distraction ------------------- By raising the question of how to have the more successful marriage, we're distracted from the more fundamental reality of just how detrimental marriage can be. Marriage is just a ruse for perpetuating the species. That is not your problem. Do not fall for it. "If gambling is good for the people, why should government limit it? If gambling is bad for the people, why should the government be involved?" chatchy
Othellos	Re: 7 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Not a Good Ide	#12	[-]
Posts: 150 (03/09/07 09:28:36) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	*Quote:* Yes - test drive. Not run up the mileage. For how many miles should one be allowed to drive before getting married or not? Famagusta
Unregistered(d)	Re: 7 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Not a Good Ide	#13	[-]
Posts: 0 (03/09/07 09:46:47) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Wouldn't "Those who live together do not experience the best sex" apply to people who have been married or are married as well?
aspong	Re: 7 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Not a Good Ide	#14	[-]
Posts: 705 (03/09/07 11:26:56) Ho Ho, it is to laugh Moderator Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	A man was driving down a road when he spotted a female friend. He pulled over and started chatting her up, eventually suggesting they get a hotel room. "I can't," the girl replied, "I'm on my menstrual cycle." "That's ok," the man replied, "just pop it in the trunk and we'll get going."
ExplodingToad	Re: 7 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Not a Good Ide	#15	[-]
Posts: 287 (03/09/07 14:12:51) NASCAR househusband Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	*Quote:* 1) Those who live together before marriage are least likely to marry each other. Thank God.
Manruss	Re: 7 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Not a Good Ide	#16	[-]
Posts: 1168 (03/09/07 14:55:14) Unindicted Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	*Quote:* V: How do you know you wouldn't have taken the commitments more seriously if you had been married - and worked out your differences? That's a good point. Instead of going our separate ways, we might merely have been trapped in a loveless marriage. ----------------------- Visit my weblog!
vdiamond	Re: 7 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Not a Good Ide	#17	[-]
Posts: 5407 (03/09/07 17:37:28) Administrator Indiana Jane Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	@ Exploding Toad and his, "Thank God " I lived with my ex-husband prior to getting married. I am quite sure that we would've ended up divorced even if we hadn't lived together first - although I'm not so sure I would've jumped right into marriage with him if I hadn't already been living with him. In other words, I moved in with him knowing that I could simply pack up and leave if it didn't work out. If I had decided not to move in with him until we were married - I would've thought longer and harder about "forever". The transition from living together to getting married was no big deal. But it would've been if moving in included that "forever" promise at the same time. I'm in no hurry to tie the knot again. (been there and done that - lol) I'd love to find someone to share my life with - but after my previous experience - I'd definitely marry before living with anyone (that way we both go into it with "forever" in our heads) - and I'd definitely take more time deciding if this is the "right" man. I think that in many instances, people marry the ones they are with simply because that person happens to be there at the right time. In my case, I was ready to start a family. But next time around - it will have to be 100% about the relationship. (No more 's baking in my oven!)
aspong	Re: 7 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Not a Good Ide	#18	[-]
Posts: 705 (03/09/07 19:43:18) Ho Ho, it is to laugh Moderator Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Well put V. Yes, moving in is more of a "let's give it a try" thing, which can lead to a more ongoing commitement. But marrying before moving in, with the express notion of "forever" as part of the raison detre gives the move a completely different significance. It seems it's the reason for the move which shifts our perspective on the relationship.
Downpuppy	Re: 7 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Not a Good Ide	#19	[-]
Posts: 5450 (03/09/07 22:52:02) Heh, heh...Beavis? Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	I'm still trying to process *Quote:* 1) Those who live together before marriage are least likely to marry each other. Its a stunning claim. I was more likely to marry any given stranger than the woman I lived with for most of 18 years? With all the millions of women I was more likely to marry, that I ended up marrying that one pretty much guarantees that I'm the only person in the world that did it. Except, so did almost everybody I know who got married. Which kinda means - the people who did this "study" are either liars or morans. Or both. I don't like to be exclusive.
Grace06	Re: 7 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Not a Good Ide	#20	[-]
Posts: 134 (03/10/07 01:17:44) Earth Spirit Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	*Quote:* Why has your opinion changed, if you don't mind me asking? vdiamond No I don't mind you asking at all. After being married for so long, since 17 y/o and losing him. If I found someone again, I would automatically expect if I loved them and them me, to keep the honer and respect. I don't any longer look as marriage as a necessity. I do look at only one lover though. I could never have sex without feeling a commitment. grace06 "Only when the last tree is cut; only when the last river is polluted; only when the last fish is caught; only then will they realize that you cannot eat money."

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